I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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