i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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