I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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