Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
