As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
