Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
