You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
