WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
