I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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