Nicole vs. Life
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
