I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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