I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
