it wasn't lemon gatorade
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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