My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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