Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
