He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
