White coat. Heels.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
