I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
