I wannas sexs uuuuu
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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