its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Drake has all the answers
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
