There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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