I think I died a long time ago.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
