the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
God, I missed his penis.
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