You smell like stripper and shame
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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