so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
