I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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