Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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