Don't you send me to vm
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
