He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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