I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
