Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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