Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Quick, to the slutcave!
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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