Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
it glows. i had to have it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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