Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
