Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
