And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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