I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
