lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
