This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
