I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
