did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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