They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
