think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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