So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
