why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
