SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
