Who did Billy Mays play for?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
