Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
