I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
