Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
