She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
