K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
